It was a strange two years because I went from ball of grease no one wanted to fuck, to seeing that maybe some people would maybe want to fuck me, and maybe even love me! RBL documents those thoughts that I had during that period. the online version is free but if you'd like you can donate to my art pot here: paypal.me/monamiejorge

Buy a print version here: http://www.peecho.com/sps/13297424530800/153859-RBL

Read the online version here: http://issuu.com/jorgecruz88/docs/rbl?e=8989019%2F30589479

Labels: book, monamiejorge, online book, RBL

0 comments

a piece by me

Labels: if, monamiejorge, piece, white people

0 comments

Labels: DF, mixtape, monamiejorge, monamiejorge†apes

0 comments

Labels: accept it, better off alone, boyfriend, monamiejorge, WEARE18

0 comments







I wrote pretty much all this material over a year ago when I was feeling like no one in this world could ever give in to being with something like me. It was a time when the wind blew and I stood outside holding my mouth open to catch anything that came in. It's like that time was something where part of my being had given up. But I'm happy not to feel like that anymore, at least not today. I'm not an easy person, not because I'm difficult, but because.... well, yeah.

Discobelle premiered our new video for "Better Off Alone" too.

Labels: 3, boyfriend, discobelle, jorge cruz, monamiejorge, the knife, WEARE18

0 comments




I think if someone had told me what, and how, this year would have ended..... err.... wrapped up, I woulda said, "are you shitting me?" But ultimately it isn't how one begins but rather how you end and fortunately for everything that happened there were far greater rewards in my life that far outweighed any of the negative, and or daunting experiences.

I begin 2014 resigning my position at TRAX Records for many, many reasons, but one of them was because I needed to be able to lead my own life for a while. A life where I was not managing a label and running my own things, etc. I decided to finally allow myself some time off from a rigorous work schedule that begin from being in school since I was 3. Mainly I just felt like I was unable to be young towards the end because I was too worried about staying on the hamster wheel but ultimately I felt like I was running out of steam, things to say, and a grasp of the reality that I need around me to be able to be fully human, or at least so I feel like one.



After January I focused my energies on my book (which was supposed to come out last year, but my computer busted at New Wave the night before I was going to leave to San Francisco). I finished my book after a breakup with someone who really taught me a lot about myself but also finally made me feel valuable in departments that I thought I had no worth in. Through the beginning of the year I switched over to becoming fully vegan and being at the gym almost all the time, and walking Choco and Coco. Also, I did release a record for Record Store Day in the UK (TRANSTrax).




Around May, but even prior to that ( I had a lot of fun on cam) I was beginning to blossom into my own sexuality, which sounds stupid but when you're constantly moving and focusing on the grind those things took the back burner. I was, even since 2013, feeling my oats. And yes, they were being soaked. So for a while I just wanted to focus on myself and focus on the things that made me feel good. I was around boys for a while, and letting them enjoy me. In May I met a guy and from there began a whirlwind crazy relationship, one of which, I still think was great, and quite honestly the type of shit everyone goes through when they're like 16 but in this case I was 25 and socially retarded in several departments.

After we broke up and my first back injury ever at the gym, I decided that instead of feeling bad about myself that I was just going to lead my own life and do things I was scared of. I decided to go full force with guys and see where it lead. While I only had a short month of this, it really ended up opening my eyes that the situations, and those experiences made me feel empty, or no better than before. It was like I was doing things just to see if I could do them. Unfortunately during these times I began neglecting the core components of my life (my babies, and the gym). I was doing Insanity for two whole months but due to space issues I could not finish the last month, but it was during the last month (August) that I began getting to know someone on a different level. At this I even released my own first mini-movie Sunday.


After I decided to finally fucking travel, a luxury I was never able to have before. I went to San Francisco and spent a layover twice in Los Angeles. I know to a lot of people it's probably stupid or banal, but to me it was finally seeing something else, and living a life that was not the same one that I had lived for over 25 years. Chicago is nice but.... yeah. I was finally feeling a sense of WOW-ness all over again. It was almost like how I was feeling when I was a freshman in college and getting to know the city. But like a lot of things in my life, one new thing was not enough.


I ended up throughout the last end of the year just living and trying to shove experience after experience down my throat just for the sake of being to do them. I was traveling, meeting a new guy, making a home with my now boyfriend, adopting two cats, having two homes, going back to school, etc. I ended up doing so much that by the end I was less WOW and becoming more unable to unknot and fully appreciate the beauty and experiences that I was leading. Yes, I did try to be present at all moments, but there was so much going on that I don't know how well I could have done that.


Towards the end of the year, and a huge mistake, but one I'm glad I committed, I was finally able to reflect on what was happening to me in terms of solid concrete issues going through my mind. I was able to identify and really solidify the type of person that I am, at least today.

Today I sit here in my home in Logan Square with one of my new babies laying next to me and with Ashlee Simpson pandora playing in the background on our tv (Xtina's "Genie In a Bottle"playing) looking at writing on my new mac with my new camera next to me and I'm still trying to untangle just how amazing last year was. But at the same time moving forward and realizing that I can't continue taking a break.






So in all, last year was so massive for me that writing about it now has honestly made me realize just how enormous it was and how fitting it into one post is nearly impossible. But I'm just proud of myself for having a year that was just so different. My dad and my brother apparently had a conversation once when they saw me walking Choco in 2013 about how it was sad that I never went anywhere. The only places they saw me going were up 3 - 5 miles of Dundee Rd and back home. And I'm glad that in 2014 not only was I able to expand my bubble, but to burst it.

New photographs from this year:

Labels: 2014 recap, jorge cruz, monamiejorge, recap

0 comments




Tracklist:
01. Twin Peaks Theme
02. Sun Ra – Retrospect
03. Deutsch Nepal – End Of Tolerance + Britney Spears – Alien (Acapella)
04. Batman Returns Soundtrack – The Finale
05. Batman Returns Soundtrack – Selina Returns + Gravediggas – 1-800-Suicide (New Vocal Acapella)
06. Wendy Rene – After Laughter Comes Tears
07. AIR – Afternoon Sister
08. Coldplay – Green Eyes
09. Gardens & Villa – Cool Summer Records
10. ID
11. Led Zeppelin – Stairway To Heaven
12. Brian Eno & Karl Hyde – The Satellites
13. The XX – Reconsider (Jamie XX remix)
14. Beauchamp & FmSea – Simple Disposition
15. Beethoven
16. Christopher Young – The Horror In The Canisters

Labels: 34 mag, 34MAG, boyfriend, jorge cruz, mixtape, monamiejorge, WEARE18

0 comments

Labels: film, jorge cruz, monamiejorge, sunday

0 comments




Ciao a tutti! Yes I'm hurrrr. Well let's get started on what has been going on and upcoming things from me. A bigger post, yes but I like do whatever.

Thank you to Nicole from Latino Post for writing a feature on me and my work! I feel like I came somewhat out of the closet with this one because I'm finally comfortable revealing my age.

http://latinpost.com/articles/4209/20131202/jorge-cruz-an-artist-unafraid.htm Sometime I also found out Resident Advisor reviewed Screamin' Rachael: Queen of House (the album that I put together) and one yay for a review, two yes it wasn't the best review but these were all issues I knew people would have with the release which is exactly the point of the release being put how it was put together. I'm not saying the reviewer was wrong or w.e but it proved the exact points that Rachael and I discussed would be being brought up when it was time for people to talk about their opinions on this album. Luckily for every so-so review 3 great reviews topped that one. The only thing I will say about this is that first off, thank you for even taking the time to write anything, and second thank you for validating exactly how I thought this album would be reviewed by some. But again, everyone has their opinions and no beef no foul. I'm more happy to have a review from RA :) http://www.residentadvisor.net/review-view.aspx?id=13780

Labels: 2013, 2014, 34 mag, italian, jorge cruz, latin post, monamiejorge, queen of house, resident advisor, screamin rachael, updates

0 comments






mmmtay, so one reason why I started this mixtape series was to get people to 1) have creative freedom and 2) so I can get people to go outside their box -- or at least the box we perceive them to run through, publicly that is.

So as you know I work out tons and well during our walk one day I just was like OMGG who do I get to make mixtapes for me so I did what I did last time, SPOTIFYYY (set to the Cosmonaut Grecho station). I decided to invite Teen Daze ultimately because of his Young Liars remix. Why did I ask him to be inspired by heavy metal? I dnk, probably the name. It was interesting that later on while I was researching more about Teen Daze that one of his P4k's "review" (it was more of an elevated bitchfest) that the writer was making fun of the name and all this crap that had more to do about genre posers than the actual album -- so it was interesting, giving someone who makes pretty music that would play out of meadows of lilies and spring water, the chance to be inspired by heavy metal.

The mixtape, like heavy metal, and like teen feels, is so angst. It's so dynamic and it oddly enough does touch on what heavy metal is, to me, at least. Cuz you know, even though the sound is all hard the lyrics, if they were set to an acoustic set and sung by Michelle Branch would be all feel -- like how can you even hold all these feels（´＿｀）

I love it, it made me feel, even when I listened to it while biking, and it made me remember, especially towards the end how at the end of one of my episodes all I wanna do is rage. Which kinda reminds me of my friend Alex who told me she likes being punched in the face. Which is why she likes to be in mosh pits.

Catch Teen Daze in Chicago Saturday October 12 at Beauty Bar! I'll be there, so come squeeze my butt *teehee*

Also download Teen Daze's new album Glacier via teendaze.bandcamp.com

tracklisting:

The Microphones - (something)

Koreless - Sun

The Knife - Forest Families

Jon Hopkins - Breathe This Air

Sigur Ros - Untitled 6

Ulfur - Molasses

Mirrorring - Mirror Of Our Sleeping

Mount Eerie - Pale Lights

Grouper - When We Fall

Labels: guadalupes room, monamiejorge, monamiejorge†apes, teen daze

0 comments




So this was the bonus track that I was talking about before in this post for the Screamin' Rachael: Queen of House album. So I designed the vinyl for it and I also made the album cover for the digital store which mirrors the b-side of the album. The pressing plant was originally against the b-side and later on I learned they did not want the vinyl to be colored. Both of which I obviously implemented for the design. The vinyl sold out, duh. You can find both things online.

get'er digitally here: https://traxrecords.bandcamp.com/album/u-used-to-hold-me-the-todd-terry-remixes

A-Side

B-Side

Labels: design, jorge, monamiejorge, screamin rachael, todd terry, trax records, u used to hold me, vinyl

0 comments




Okay so basically after I put out that Joe Smooth mixtape for the 25th Anniversary (in 2010) I heard one of Rachael's songs on the tape ("Dance All Night") and I was HOOKED on it, as I usually am (am I the only one who will listen to one song for days, hours?). From there I obviously started to know more and more music mainly because I was archiving all the music onto bandcamp and so when I listened to "Love Is In The Air" at some moment in time I just had to put this album together. I didn't even know her other music at this point but that's me, I see one thing I like and I try to make a platform or something so it can be appreciated by everyone!

I've recently realized that I've been like this since I was like 5 and controlling/playing that Christian Castro CD for one of our dinners with family friends, and then they went "Ohhhhh" and I guess since then I've been hooked on the idea of showing and telling. I had obviously some previous things happen but that one really stands out, as well as the time Elisa and I went to a Halloween party where I was online in the beginning talking to an oinline friend from Brown that I met on Camfrog. I was bored, and wanted to make the night special for myself. So I took over the music, and I honestly felt like it was my party because previously they were playing some lame music (like frat rock) and everyone was just sitting on the couches and shit. The party was super tho because they had decorations, and food (themed food) so I just took over the stereo with my then iPod touch. Let's just say, the euphoria of 1) making a party 2) playing Dirty Sanchez's "Youth In Asia" to a mixed crowd and having them go wild was just enough to make my Halloween experiences. Later I cuddled for the entire train ride from Addison to Congress with a super cute boy I met that night who had a girlfriend (who was ditched for me and was literally in the next train car) but that it neither here nor there.

The point is my life was built up to do things like this for a while. So then I put out the 25th Anniversary Collection (of which the album was curated by me) at this point I had expressed that I wanted to put her album together but obviously when the time was right, and when I felt like it -- I just can't perform if I don't feel like it. So obviously they nagged me once in a while about it, and at that time there was no real direction as to where it was going to go, or what it was going to be -- it could have been a new album mixed with music from her catalogue; it could have been an album of just new studio music, w.e! The point is that there was no direction and I had yet to put any work into it, but it was in the back of my mind.

So in the summer of 2012 I put together SUMMERTRAX because I heard Rachael's song "Extacy" and at that same time "Starships" was out and I was like I want a summer album, so I did, and "Extacy" was my "Starships" (meaning it was like a summer jam). Which later was chosen by XLR8R as a free download and later became one of the top most downloaded songs of 2012. At this point I only really knew maybe 10 songs of hers but I was determined to get the songs I loved of hers the time of day.

So as the year began to wind down I began asking for music and Rachael kept giving me the same stuff on cd's (at this time I could not back out from putting the album together, and I really didn't want to because the songs I did hear were just like homagah!) but I also realised that maybe the album would be only 10 tracks or something -- I would never just put out to put out. Fortunately, or unfortunately I had problems with my laptop at the very end of the year and then Rachael gave me hers (gurl needs to work!) so she gave me her laptop to work, and I of course just looked through her iTunes (maybe we did talk about the fact that she only gave me the same music over and over again; and at one point I even asked her to give me vinyl so I could pick music out of) the point is that once I opened up that iTunes it was gold, GOLD! From there I literally at first began to scan solely for her music but the files were so unorganized that the task became somewhat very daunting, but work is work, haha. I ended up just pulling (I like to have a very fashion-ey, artistic way of thinking about how I work. It's like I think of how people would pull a bunch of coats or dresses or photographs at once and then widdle them down) the songs and loaded them onto my iPhone (it was winter at this point) and took my dogs behind the offices behind this are by where I live and just listened. Already I knew it was going to be crucial to put these in a very specific order because it was very jarring to hear them the way I did and also even some of the songs that I love now I thought nothing of originally because of the way they were jsut randomly placed to other songs. "Love Is In The Air" was always the album opener tho (gurl I take that Michael Kors advice [via Project Runway season 1, holla Wendy!] when it comes to opening a show -- in this case an album). So from there it was pretty easy to just Anna Wintour the shit out of it. Yes, no, def no, and hell no-ing things and I really put the album together more stylistically as opposed to having it be a narrative or trying to tell a story (of which I did on the 25th Anniversary Album, and SUMMERTRAX). I mean I put everything out stylistically but sometimes I sacrificed or added certain songs to enhance the narrative I was going for like for the 25th Anniversary album which was really about my depression/ how I felt the label was at that moment in time and about displaying black avant-garde music I chose songs based on their names. Songs like: "Help", "I've Lost Control", "Time Marches On", etc.

So w/ this one it never was about me wanting to tell a specific story, just a great sonic record but maybe it was my unconscious or something -- but I did put the album together in a way that tell Rachael's life. Like the first songs are about partying, then life after the party (sex) and then about real life struggles, etc. That is obviously a very condensed way of saying how Rachael's life was but you can ask her more about it. We literally in April had a discussion at her table and without provoking the conversation or anything gelled exactly how I had put the album in order (maybe I'm telekinetic).

At the very end before the final version of the album was submitted by me I was still combing through her iTunes to make sure I didn't miss any songs (I had, of course) so I ended up literally clicking through every single song and ended up finding "Joy", "Let's Play House", and maybe a couple more -- can not remember but those really stood out because I can't imagine not having them in the album. At that point also the album needed to be filled it was kinda bare (it had more than 20 songs) but it needed padding, I knew the album needed more so clicking on every song was great! Also this is how TransTRAX (another comp coming out this year) was born. Because naturally I ran into songs where I went like "oh hey gurl, what?!" and so thats that.

Okay so when I first started out I was honestly just wanting to do the art for everything from posters, to albums -- I had no interest in running a label, putting out music, etc. While that was nice I felt like I needed to give my art a platform to properly be displayed. This means: Basically if I am going to be part of something it was to be at a certain level, especially if it going to 1) have my name on it 2) if it is going to have my art on it. So this thinking led to me basically running the label publically while Rachael did all the defending and serious work behind the scenes. I just wanted to be part of something I would be proud to have my name on, and with no one else there I just ended up taking over many things. I'm saying all this because it has a lot to do with how I branded this album.

I knew this album was fantastic, and I knew it could go two way if the press shots, the album cover, and the press were not up to par. Some may think that why do all that work? Well I just spent a large amount of time trying to build the house now I need cute furniture inside of it, you feel me?

The album cover was born out of me just playing with this photograph of Rachael's that was on her page on Facebook. and then I just decided to being painting it, somewhere in the haze. Maybe because I put the album together, I just had a natural reaction to it with my hands. I don't know because I have no solid reason as to why it is that, or why I chose to paint, etc. It just came out of me.



Later on in April I knew I needed to have the proper press shots for this album because at this point how can you have 1) an amazing album 2) an amazing cover and then come out with lame-o press shots. So I shot them when I stayed with Rachael over at a park near Lake Point Tower next to Navy Pier. In the beginning the lighting was all crazy and we were about to leave but then the magic happened. I also, as many of you know, have become a makeup lover (paintingggg) and nails, and so I did that and styled it! (wow so many hatssss, haha) Maybe I am OCD, but it's my work godamnit![Willam reference]




The at night we shot the "punk" looks and I also shot the promo video (hell no, I won't not have one. every project I've made thus far has had one). Yet again, makeup'd and styled it, as well as shooting and editing. I don't have a factory of people working for me a la Jeff Koons. This was shot on the third floor garden at Lake Point Tower facing the southside.


So then Rachael had worked on the bonus track with Todd Terry (errrrr….. he made his own Mixes, or something) and so I also designed that vinyl but because it was a bonus track and not really a song that was part of the album like the others *** a bonus track usually is the oddball track in an album that is chosen for many reasons. Because it didn't fit (stylistically, time-wise, the artist wanted it on there, etc.). Hence why that was on there. So I made the vinyl a complete opposite as to what the album is like. I said red-on-red vinyl because what's sexier than a dripping red vinyl? amirightorwhat? and then we ended up having a two face design mainly because why just have one design when we can have two?!! The backside mirrors the single's digital cover. also I chose red because the scale of the vinyl sticker will look hotanga!

view the book here: http://issuu.com/jorgecruz88/docs/screaminrachaelqueenfhouse

This post was really about branding and about the album so in a different post I'll post things like soundcloud stream and reviews we've gotten, etc.

Oh and I almost forgot to mention: I also made the promo's that were sent out. We did not have physical cd's made so of course I was not just about to burn songs onto any CD. I obviously chose that the promo's have the tracklisting mirroring that of the album. So it was the first couple of songs, and then I made little cards along with stickers! I love these memorex writable cd's (they're sold as printable) but they are the perfect way to be able to write on them. I handsigned each CD, there were supposed to be 3 types of signatures to indicate in what order they were being burned and all this other stuff. But gurl, I've already forgotten. Signed each of them in milky penssssss.

Labels: branding, design, monamiejorge, photography, queen of house, screamin rachael

0 comments